Going Along To Get Along

If you don’t use your voice now, they will take that from you too

Ruth E.H.
2 min readJun 26, 2022


Make no mistake. The church as an institution has no interest in supporting a woman’s right to her own body.

Fifteen years ago, I left the so called Christian church because their values would have left me battered, barefoot and broken. Their values would have left me stuck with the asshole who broke my face with the back of his hand.

They would have had me remain with a man who sexually assaulted me.


Because as a woman, my role was to keep my head down and my mouth shut. I was to be a man’s “helpmeet”, supportive and encouraging without a hint of true contention.

A good woman must let her man lead in all matters, especially when he’s “a good Christian man”.

Besides it’s not as if he left “lasting damage”.

The point is, my body was not mine. It was someone else’s to use and abuse.

The church is doing the same thing now that they’ve been doing for centuries — they’re using a book to establish control, and to exact punishment on anyone who disagrees with them.

I’m so used to keeping quiet. So used to going along to get along.

My subsequent (and now former) partner who came from the Bible Belt never liked it when I said something remotely controversial that could reflect badly on us. On HIM. An article like this would have reduced him to a raging mess, along with loud demands that I take it down immediately.

My ex might have been an atheist, but it would be a mistake to believe that the church’s cultural influence doesn’t extend beyond polished pews.

Some things cannot be borne in quietude. Especially not now.

I am furious this week at the treatment women have received. Furious that women have had such a fundamental protection taken from them.

The fact we even needed a law to grant us rights to our own bodies is fucked to begin with.

I am furious, and so should you be. I am tired of being quiet and non-controversial. It’s time we just said what we’re all thinking for real and for true because if we don’t — they’ll come for our voices next.

Note: I’m Canadian, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get to feel outrage on behalf of every American woman who has to deal with their new reality. Moreover, it’s not as if this week isn’t a harbinger of worse to come for all of us.



Ruth E.H.